Barry Zito

Me Zito. Me throw...ball...eighty...two...miles...per...hour. (Photo Credit: AP)

Barry Zito pitched his first shutout since April 18, 2003 on Monday…in Colorado. That is all.
Oh yeah, and don’t expect that to happen again. It was an anomaly caused by a meteor that changed the Earth’s rotation.

Golden State Warriors: Top-7 Pick Would Save Joe Lacob

Cat fight!

We’ve heard it all before: “We’re just a first-round pick away from the playoffs.” “All we need is a legit center.” “NEXT year will be our year.”
Warriors fans have come to realize such talk is generally rubbish. We’ve had plenty of lottery picks throughout the years, with nothing to show for it but one playoff appearance in 17 seasons (going on 18).
But this year’s crop of talent is truly special. The Warriors aren’t going to get Anthony Davis if they finish in the bottom seven and keep their draft pick, but they have a shot at numerous talents, including a lights-out small forward in Harrison Barnes or another big man like Connecticut’s Andre Drummond. A top-seven pick this year, combined with the first-rounder from the San Antonio Spurs, would position the Warriors for a transformation.
New owner Joe Lacob has heard his fair share of criticism this season, particularly when he was booed at Chris Mullin’s jersey retirement ceremony. I can still hear the boos cascading down upon his helpless little head.
It didn’t help when Lacob promised playoffs this season. Even the most insane people in the world know that is a bad thing to promise. Perhaps he didn’t know the history of the Warriors organization, perhaps he didn’t think our fan base would hold him accountable or perhaps he still thought he was part-owner of the Boston Celtics, thinking David Lee was really Kevin Garnett and whoever is starting at point guard these days was Rajon Rondo.
Why do people scoff at losing on purpose? What does winning the final 10 games or so do for the Warriors? And don’t give me that “building for next season” crap, I’ve heard it before. People, the next season isn’t for months. I’m pretty sure that “momentum” heading into the season has worn off by then.
We need a top-seven pick, we need two first-round picks. Heck, I’d take 10 first-round picks if it was possible.
Joe Lacob’s time is already running out in the Bay Area. He doesn’t do something soon, we may mistake him for the insufferable Chris Cohan.

San Francisco Giants: Why Giants Will Be Battling for NL West in September

Matt Cain imagines what it's like to hit a D-Bag in the face with a baseball (Photo Credit: AP)

Last season, the San Francisco Giants dropped off the nation’s radar after a World Series run in 2010.
Part of this was because Marlins rookie Scott Cousins decided to barrel into Buster Posey at home plate in late May, ending our beloved catcher’s season. There was also the fact that our overall offense flat-out sucked outside of Pablo Sandoval, Freddy Sanchez and the rising Nate Schierholtz.
But think of it this way: Even with an offense that scored the second-fewest runs in baseball, we still finished 86-76. We still finished a mere four games back in the wild-card race and we came in second in the NL West.
I was skeptical of the Melky Cabrera signing at first but he’s been swinging a red-hot bat in spring training and, honestly, there’s no way our offense can be as bad as last year. We had 11 players with at least 200 at-bats last season – SEVEN of them hit below .250. It really can’t get worse than that.
Beyond that, we still have good pitching. Yes, Barry Zito worries me, as always, but Eric Surkamp and Dan Runzler also have the capability of emerging into Zito’s spot this year. We still have a stellar bullpen.
There are a lot of questions concerning how our beloved Gigantes will bounce back this year. In the end, I see them answering those questions emphatically and giving the Arizona D-Bags a run for their money.

Golden State Warriors: Mommy, Who Am I?

Get the F out! Signed...Udoh (Photo Credit: Getty Images)

Sometimes I feel as if the Warriors don’t know who they are.
Since we last talked to you on DSOB, the Warriors have lost to the Oklahoma City Thunder and Memphis Grizzlies, while beating the Los Angeles Clippers and Phoenix Suns.
The last win against the Suns was particularly troubling. The Warriors got off to a 39-22 lead through the first quarter, only to see the Suns outscore them every quarter from there. It took a fantastic fadeaway jumper from Monta Ellis in the closing seconds for the Warriors to escape with the victory.
After the game, Ellis talked about how the Warriors played well. Give me a break. They almost gave up a 17-point lead to the Suns.
The Warriors’ problem continues to be rebounding. Both Biedrins and Udoh can’t rebound a lick. I will say I liked what I saw from Dominic McGuire (nine rebounds), but he’s more of a small forward. He’s not going to help the Warriors down in the post.
I will also say it’s a shame that Udoh can’t rebound, because he’s proven to be a fantastic defender and his 19-point explosion against the Clippers got me thinking he may have some offense after all.
At this point, I’m pretty sure Mark Jackson is saying, “Mommy? I’m scared.”

Golden State Warriors: Still a Great Time Out?

Last time we talked to you here at Dark Side of the Bay, it was almost a year ago.
The last time we did a Golden State Warriors post, I was ranting about the Warriors letting Troy Murphy go…for the second time.
Well, Murphy is with the Los Angeles Lakers now. Go figure. The Lakers have actually been giving him decent minutes off the bench, and he’s actually shooting 42 percent from downtown. Whoa! Who they got over there? Jerry West in disguise?
All kidding aside, I’m still pissed the Warriors let Murph go. Sure, David Lee is a better overall player, but he’s just as bad a defensive player and he costs a fortune.
But enough of my yapping, let’s take a look at the Warriors so far, in bullet format because I’m lazy tonight:

• Our new coach is Mark Jackson. Yes, THAT Mark Jackson, the Mark Jackson that used to annoy me as a commentator. And guess what? Keith Smart is the interim coach for the Sacramento Kings because Paul Westphal thought his opinion mattered more than DeMarcus Cousins’ happiness with the organization. Bad idea. Westphal has now West-failed. Cousins, on the other hand, is averaging 16.2 points, 11.3 rebounds, 1.2 steals and 1.3 blocks.
• Warriors record: They’re 11-15, but it’s not as bad as it looks (I know, you’ve heard this before). The Warriors’ defense HAS improved under Jackson. Opponents are shooting under 45 percent against them, near the middle of the league. On the other hand, the Warriors are still shooting 46.5 percent, fourth in the NBA.
• What the H? Then how are they 11-15?! Because they still can’t rebound, averaging 39.8 rebounds per game (27th in the NBA). Biedrins may as well be a ghost and Ekpe Udoh isn’t much better in the rebounding department.
• Players to watch for: Nate Robinson is like the Warriors’ version of Jeremy Lin…after Lin left the Warriors.  He’s averaging 10.6 points and 4.1 assists in 22 minutes per game and he’s coming off a 21-point performance against the Portland Trail Blazers. Brandon Rush doesn’t get many chances to shine, but when he does, he usually makes the most of it. Rush is shooting 50 percent from the floor and 54 percent from downtown. He also likes rebounding. He also gets towels stolen from him. Ekpe Udoh has become a very good defender and shot-blocker for the Warriors (averaging 1.6 blocks in 19 minutes per game). But he can’t rebound and he can’t shoot (he’s actually worse than Adonal Foyle was in those departments). But maybe he’ll develop…or become another bust, one of the two.
• The Warriors cheerleaders are still pretty hot, but could still be a little hotter.
• Don Nelson is still gone, partying in Mexico probably.
• Jeff Adrien is gone. Louis Amundson is gone. Charlie Bell is gone. Acie Law is gone. Vlad Rad is gone. Brandan Wright is gone. Al Thornton is gone. Rodney Carney is gone. Reggie Williams is gone. Dan Gadzuric is gone….and nobody cares about any of these guys except Reggie Williams.
• Warriors players nobody cares about right now: Andris Biedrins, Kwame Brown (injured), Charles Jenkins, Dominic McGuire, Jeremy Tyler and Chris Wright
• Warriors players everybody loves right now: Monta Ellis, Stephen Curry, David Lee and Nate Robinson
• Warriors players in between love and hate: Klay Thompson, Dorell Wright and Ekpe Udoh
• Jerry West is an adviser for us. Maybe if we land Kobe and Shaq circa 2000-2002 we’ll win three championships.
• Charles Barkley still hates the Bay Area.
• If Joe Lacob does nothing in his time with the Warriors, we’ll still have THIS.
• Trade rumors: Dwight Howard hates us and that’s all you need to know
• Playoff picture: We’re three games behind the Memphis Grizzlies for the eighth spot in the West

That’s it for tonight, folks. I’m tired and I need sleep. Comment if you want. If you don’t, screw you.

Dark Side of the Bay is Back!

I know you all have been dying for Dark Side of the Bay to get back online.
Well, good news for you! We’re back! Tell your friends! Tell your family! Tell your dog! Tell Jeremy Lin! Maybe he’ll come back to the Bay Area!

That’s right, Dark Side of the Bay is back and better than ever! We’re going to be more intense, more in-depth and make our minds known, no matter how many people we piss off!
Watch out folks! Your minds just might be blown!
No, seriously, if you read our stuff, watch out for your minds because we have a 13 percent success rate of actually blowing up people’s minds.
Stay tuned, the Dark Side is just around the corner…

Troy Murphy Trade: Why the Warriors Pissed Me Off by Doing Something

The day Jessica Alba stopped believing...

There’s a saying that goes something like, “I made a trade and all I got was this lousy second-round draft pick.”
At least, that’s how I think it goes.
On Wednesday, a day before the deadline, our favorite little Warriors traded Brandan Wright and Dan Gadzuric for former Dub Troy Murphy and a second-round draft pick.
I wasn’t even pissed for getting just a second-round draft pick (which is for 2012 by the way).
I mean, we’ve become used to this abuse as Warriors fans.
But what really irks me, and makes me want to yell from the top of Ray Ratto’s palace, is the Dubs are thinking about buying out Murphy’s contract, making him a free agent.
Why?
Well, logic would tell you Murphy doesn’t want to be a bench player behind David Lee after languishing on the Nets bench.
But no, that’s not why the Dubs are doing it.
Reportedly they are buying out Murphy’s contract to, get this, bring Jeff Adrien back from the D-League.
So not only are they giving away one of my favorite Dubs ever, they are replacing him with Jeff Adrien.
I would have loved to see Murph bring back the fire he had in the old days, one of the few Warriors players that showed heart before the miraculous 2006-2007 season that saw Baron Davis bring the franchise back to life.
Murphy was like the Warriors’ Kevin Garnett back in the day, with a smidgen less talent…just a smidgen.
I once remember seeing him dunk, throw the ball back into an opponent’s stomach, and look away with disgust.
That’s the “I-don’t-give-a-hoot” attitude the Warriors need.
If you bring back Murph, just to send him away, me and Ray Ratto will storm the front office, Larry Riley.
Try getting away from The Rat…he’s as quick as a rat.