Breaking News! (within two days): U.S. Soccer eliminated from World Cup

Ghana 2, U.S.A. 1: Well, U.S. Soccer had a good run. They infuriated England with a tie, stunned Slovenia in coming back from a 2-0 halftime deficit, and beat Algeria to advance to the second round. But Africa’s only remaining soccer team was far superior Saturday in the “win or go home” round. The U.S. can look at missed opportunities or blown coverages there, but the fact remains Ghana was a team that had the advantage in talent and headiness. But we won’t forget the ride, us (North) Americans who call futbol soccer, and football football. Lando “Calrissian” Donovan and his galant comrades made us believers that, yes, we can be good at soccer (futbol). Until next time, thanks for the memories and for making England even more pompous and infuriated with us (the final nail in the coffin will be when Obama finds a way to direct all the BP oil on the coast of Florida straight to England’s shores). The Great Mark “Knof” Knopfler wrote a tribute to Lando called “Donovan’s Gone” after the final match (contest?, game?, who gives a crap?):

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3 Responses to Breaking News! (within two days): U.S. Soccer eliminated from World Cup

  1. Your Worst Nightmare says:

    First, don’t hate on soccer just because you were never good at it, or they never picked you to play.

    Second, by no means was Ghana ‘far superior’ than the U.S. Maybe at the beginning, but obviously you didn’t watch the rest of the game and you are just spilling your feelings on soccer as a whole.

    U.S. Soccer has promise and soon we will own the world in every aspect imaginable

  2. ryrud says:

    As always, my harshest critic is appropriately My Worst Nightmare…first, I was always taken second-to-last in soccer, not last…second, if you watched the game it was clear Ghana was the better team throughout…the fact that the U.S. didnt capitalize on its chances, especially in the second half, is evidence it was the worse team…and third, this was largely a positive article, commending the U.S. on their fine play in the first round and making the country care about soccer again

  3. Your Worst Nightmare says:

    As I have read, and am a firm believer, to Americans, the world cup is just like the Olympics. When it is on, everyone is on board and is in love. Once it’s over, everyone goes back to their everyday lives and forgets all about it for 4 years.

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