Time for me to vent again: The 49ers just hired Chip motherflippin Kelly

Hi Bay Area sports faithful,
DSOTB is back, better than ever as always. The problem is: We’re pissed and you’re all going to have to listen to it now.
So get this: After Jed York fired Harbaugh the Great, hired Jim Tomsula the Insufferable and then fired Jim Tomsula the Insufferable, he has now…wait for it…hired CHIP MOTHERFLIPPIN KELLY.
I have so many issues with Kelly as coach that I could write a veritable novel, my dear Watson.
First, Kelly absolutely tore the Eagles apart. With his personnel control. With his relationships with his players. With his TRADING AWAY of good players. And yes, he reportedly doesn’t have personnel control with the Niners, but—even then—he’s not a players coach and you simply have to be a players coach in this day and age…unless you are someone like Belichick with a long history of winning. It’s not college football. It’s the NFL. And players aren’t going to stand for a coach strutting around (waddling?) like he knows everything.
Second, a lot of people are spewing out the notion that Kelly—because of his history with mobile QBs—will make Kaepernick (Crapernick?) better again. But here’s a newsflash for those lots of people: Sure, Kelly might draw up better plays that help Kaepernick, but when all is said and done, Kaepernick is still an inaccurate quarterback who makes terrible decisions with the football. I never like to stoop to such lows, but he seriously may not be intelligent enough to excel as a QB in the NFL. That’s not saying he’s stupid. It’s just saying that you have to be EXTREMELY intelligent to excel as a QB in the NFL these days. There are so many different defensive schemes and packages and strategies that you are going to be hit with a lot of different things in a mere matter of a few seconds and you have to be able to process everything at light speed. And, once again, even if Kaepernick could process such things (which he’s shown he can’t), there’s still the fact that he’s not a very accurate QB unless he only throws bullet passes. Ask him to use a little touch and his accuracy goes out the window.
Third, for all of the talk about Chip Kelly being a mastermind of offense, the Eagles ranked 26th in offensive efficiency this past season, according to Football Outsiders. They ranked 17th in defensive efficiency.
Fourth, York has made it quite clear that he can’t work with a control freak coach. But stripping away Kelly’s personnel control won’t make Kelly any less of a control freak. It’s a bad fit if York was only hiring Kelly to make life easier on himself. This hire doesn’t make sense on so many levels.
The big problem, of course, is York himself. He’s not going anywhere as CEO/owner no matter how much we want him to because, realistically, would YOU walk away from that much money? That means we’re stuck with another York and another string of mediocrity for a long time. Either York goes, or the 49ers don’t have a prayer. Hate to be that blunt. Sweet dreams, everyone.

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